User Profile
Add Friend
Add Note
Track User
Send Message
Send V-Gift
when everything is lonely I can be my own best friend
we might die from medication but we sure killed all the pain
Created on 2004-02-01 12:04:42 (#2077440), last updated 2008-01-24
577 comments received, 581 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
340 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 3 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | waste of paint |
|---|---|
| Location: | Arizona, United States |
BioI heard myself say that "I dont think I've ever really been happy" - but of course that's ridiculous, not something I would ever say at all. Of course I've been happy, loads of times. In fact, I was happy just a few minutes ago
But there it was.
"I don't think I've ever been happy," said in a far-off voice, one that sounded old and nostalgic for a moment that hadn't yet passed; nostalgic for today, even as I lived it. It was strangled and tight, and not coming from anywhere inside my head. A voice from far away, maybe here and now, reaching back and telling me it wasn't real, the years we had, the times we had, the feeling of belonging, none of it was real. Soon, very soon, it would be ripped away. Soon, too soon, I was going to be tumbling and falling with you, and we both would feel the pain of separation, of being taken away from everything that we worked so hard to build.
But as I said the words - "I don't think I've ever been happy" - it wasn't time yet, we were still together, alive, free. It was odd and wrong coming from my throat like it did.
But there it was.
"I don't think I've ever been happy," said in a far-off voice, one that sounded old and nostalgic for a moment that hadn't yet passed; nostalgic for today, even as I lived it. It was strangled and tight, and not coming from anywhere inside my head. A voice from far away, maybe here and now, reaching back and telling me it wasn't real, the years we had, the times we had, the feeling of belonging, none of it was real. Soon, very soon, it would be ripped away. Soon, too soon, I was going to be tumbling and falling with you, and we both would feel the pain of separation, of being taken away from everything that we worked so hard to build.
But as I said the words - "I don't think I've ever been happy" - it wasn't time yet, we were still together, alive, free. It was odd and wrong coming from my throat like it did.
Connect
Friends [View Entries] Friends (26):
100_menthols, arsenic480, benny_ben_ben, bestkeptsecrets, carbondating, danse_cactus, desperate_lies, diagonals, en_lieux, eyepath, fascisteyes, fellforthedream, hello_honeycomb, ilovetightpants, inaddition, lostinme13, neverandthenow, recveringfrmyou, she_implodes, sino_minnow, stygianstar, t_vlrus, taintedhalo123, thenewfeelawful, to_adapt, wineforwinter
Friend of (23):
100_menthols, arsenic480, be_you332, benny_ben_ben, carbondating, desperate_lies, diagonals, en_lieux, eyepath, fellforthedream, inaddition, lostinme13, neverandthenow, recveringfrmyou, silent_beauty27, sino_minnow, sparkle18, stooder_pooter, stygianstar, taintedhalo123, thenewfeelawful, twstdtear, wineforwinter
Communities [View Entries] Watching (0)
Feeds [View Entries] Watching (0)
